Still Life With Aspirin

            There she was, the mother of me, like a lit plinth,
Heavenly, though I was reared to find this kind

            Of visitation impractical; she was an unbearable detail
Of the supreme celestial map,

            Of which I had been taught that there was
No such thing. Stevens wrote that

            For a poem to be true, it must "come from an Ever."
If you don't fathom that, then you should not be reading this.

           I was there, at Ever, and it was mostly poignant and it was cruel.
It was a subjective place where touch was so particular it hurt

            Like a veterinarian's deep kiss, like a Jerusalem somewhere
Between fancy & imagination.  I was the procuress

            And the gallowglass guarding the history and turf of everything
Intimate.  What word would you use to describe me now.

            Imperishable?  Imperishable.  The stars
Appear every night in the sky. All is not well.

           All Deepens.  V. told me that. All deepens, which is
To say–nothing–like a mild analgesic, which is to say everything

            Like Lear's three girls.  Which is to say:
All of my objects have lost their correlative states

            And you want to know why.  Because things are just
Things now, just as everyone said they would be.

            When I was there, at Ever, by the way,
I was an ascetic and unfanciful.  The land there

            Was all as peaceful as an aspirin, as the West Bank
Is an eternal circle of chalk and bruise and war.

            You did not dream I held political
Ideals, did you.  You should not be reading this and are.

            Remember me in the blowsy humid corridors
Beneath the Wailing Wall, most sacred place of all.

            Remember me: wishing, specific, marooned, as
One who knew exactly what the Ever was & is, a velvet school

            Of courtesan, a gallows bird, all deep, all deepening.